When my clients are discontent and complaining about how life is playing out for them, there are five questions I typically ask to get them thinking about the things they need to be thinking about to be more thoughtful and intentional with how they choose to move forward. I share those questions in this short video.
What are you choosing to focus on, and how are you investing your time and energy?
Each morning, after you awake, you choose where to focus your attention and how to spend your time and energy – all of which are limited resources. So, WHAT are you choosing to focus on, and in what kind of things are you investing your time and energy? What do you think about, talk about, and do each day?
Deep below the surface of your consciousness, you have a reason for this. What is it?
When you engage in these things, what are the outcomes you seek? What are you hoping to accomplish? Why are you choosing to think about, talk about, and do these things?
Are those the outcomes you're getting?
What are you truly accomplishing when you focus your attention on these things and spend your time and energy thinking, talking, and acting this way?
How might you be complicit in creating the outcomes you say you don't want?
What is and isn't within your control? If you're focusing on things or engaging in activities in which you have very little control over the outcomes, perhaps you're responsible for creating your feelings of discontent? If that's true, then it's time to entertain question #5.
To move forward, toward the things you say you want, what would be more productive ways to focus your attention and invest your time and energy?
How would you actually think and behave each day if you genuinely wanted what you say you want?
You can certainly choose to focus on things you don't control. But, when you end up with outcomes you say you don't want, the only person to blame is you.
Your attention, time, and energy are precious resources. Don't squander them in unproductive ways. Instead, leverage the agency you have to make your own decisions and invest your resources wisely.
In doing so, you'll find that you have far more control over how you feel each day than what you previously realized. There's something about that that is quite freeing if you're courageous to grab and hold onto it.